Ministries

No member of our parish family will grieve alone.

From its earliest beginnings the Church has held that both Divine and natural law enjoin each of us to the exercise of the Spiritual and Corporal works of mercy. Not the least of these works are the directives to comfort the sorrowful and bury the dead.

Our Ministry to the Bereaved will always strive to bring comfort and healing no matter the source or manifestation of grief. Validating the reality of every individual who comes to us, we will serve, to the best of our ability, whenever and wherever we are needed, with the help of God.

From our Pastoral Plan for the Development and Operation of a Parish-Based Ministry to the Bereaved

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We reach out beyond our own faith community. ALL ARE WELCOME, no matter your faith tradition. Please contact Stephany for information at the parish office, 410 974-4366, or at scrane@standrewbythebay.org.

A BEREAVEMENT EDUCATION/SUPPORT GROUP for anyone grieving the death of a loved one: friend, sibling, spouse, miscarried baby, parent. We’ll meet Tuesday evenings Sept. 29 through Nov. 17 in the Adult Learning Center, 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. These 8 sessions will be held in a compassionate, non-judgmental environment where we’ll learn about the hard work of grief, support one another, and pray for and with each other. We’ll explore the “10 essential touchstones for finding hope and healing” using the book Understanding Your Grief. (Cost of materials is $25.00, but no one will be turned away for inability to pay.) Please register in advance.

November is traditionally the month for honoring the dead in our faith tradition, so we take this opportunity to comfort and support each other . We remember and celebrate the lives of our deceased loved ones, especially those who have died since last November. Our loved ones’ names will be read aloud during the prayer service. In addition, we will display photos and mementos of them in the sanctuary during the service. If you’d like, bring a photo or memento with you on the evening of the service; it will be suitably cared-for and returned at the end of the evening. So come, pray and remember with us. ALL ARE WELCOME.

Come share strategies for getting through the holidays while remembering our loved ones and honoring our own grief and pain. Come to talk or just to listen. We will meet on Tuesday, December 1 from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. Contact Stephany Crane for more information, to register, or to talk individually with a member of our bereavement ministry. Please register in advance.

First Mondays

OPEN BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT GROUP

Our ongoing support group meets once a month in an atmosphere of compassionate, non-judgmental support. We welcome all, including the newly bereaved and those who need some extra care as they approach a special occasion such as their loved one’s birthday or the anniversary of death. Please contact us for directions.

Serving the Dying and their Families
Bridge Ministry: Realizing the pain of grief may start for many in the months or weeks before death,we work with the health care ministry to reach out to the dying and their families.

We offer:
+ Compassionate listening and prayerful presence
+ Praying for and with the individual and the family
+ Sacramental visits
+ Assistance planning the funeral liturgy, if desired.

Serving the Bereaved at the Time of Death:
We offer:
+ Assistance in planning the funeral liturgy
+ Readers, altar servers, Eucharistic ministers for the funeral as needed
+ Help with hospitality for a reception after the funeral
+ Compassionate listening and supportive presence
+ Information about grief and suggestions to help families through the hard
    work of mourning
+ Links with other support ministries and referrals as needed

Serving throughout the time of Bereavement:
We offer:
+ An evening of prayer and remembrance each November to honor our deceased loved ones
+ Bereavement education/ support groups open to the community at large–
    Ongoing open group meets the 1st Monday of each month Intensive 8 week
    group meets each fall
+ One-on-one companioning
+ Workshops on topics such as children and grief, grieving a miscarriage, and
    getting through the holidays open to the community at large
+ A library of material on grief-related subjects

And specifically for those suffering pregnancy loss:
We encourage you to take advantage of any of the above you may find helpful.
We also offer:
+ Blessing of the parents
+ Remembrance and naming prayer services for an unbaptized child (These may
    be celebrated in the hospital, in the privacy of you own home, in a small service
    in the chapel at St. Andrew’s, or, with a larger group, in the church itself. There
    is no time limit for these services, and no constraints regarding the length of
    your pregnancy you have a right to grieve the loss of your baby whether he
    died at 2 months,6 months, or full term.)

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2. When you don’t know what to say, it’s okay to say just that. Offer a hand to hold, a hug, or just support your friend by your presence.

3. Call or visit during the week after the funeral. Out of town relatives go home, the rush of activity still, and loneliness may truly set in.

5. Throughout the months ahead, ask how they’re doing, and mean it. Allow for tears.

6. Be a good listener. Your friend needs to tell her story over and over, to be free to express how she feels. Grief expressed is often grief diminished.

7. Use the deceased person’s name. Don’t worry that it’ll make them sad; they’re sad anyway.

8. Refrain from telling him how he should or should not feel, what he should or should not do. Grief has no shoulds or should nots.

9. Offer to go to mass with her. It is often difficult to go to mass alone after a death. Be accepting if she doesn’t want to go.

11. Continue to show your concern during the entire 1^st year. Send a note or make a phone call, especially at times that are often more difficult: birthdays, holidays, the anniversary of death.

1. He wouldn’t want you to cry. (Tears are important. They release tension and anxiety, and the capacity to express tears allows for genuine healing. You need to “feel it to heal it.”)

3. You must be strong. (Trying to be strong takes energy tat could be used to work through the grief. Grief expressed is often grief diminished - this goes for men, too.)

4. Time heals all wounds. (Mourning is hard work. It takes intention and energy.)

5. You need to stay busy. (Ignoring grief will not make it go away. It must be faced.)

6. You should be over it by now. (Grief has no time-table. And you don’t “get over it.” You somehow learn to live with it.)

7. It’s time to move on / get on with your life. (Two things wrong with this one. Each grief is unique, and there is no linear progression we all follow, no set time-table. Also, no one ever “moves on” or “gets over” the death of a loved one – we heal when we face the experience and integrate it into who we are.)

8. It’s time to get back to normal. (See above. Also, there is no “back to normal.” The grieving person will, over time, find her “new normal.”)

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Our ongoing open Bereavement Support Group, open to any member of the community, meets on the first Monday of each month in an atmosphere of compassionate, non-judgmental support. We welcome all, including the newly bereaved and those who need some extra care as they approach a special occasion such as their loved one’s birthday or the anniversary of his or her death.

For information on this or any aspect of this ministry, please ask for
Stephany Crane at the parish office, 410 974-4366.

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All our volunteer bereavement ministers have received training with the help of the National Catholic Ministry to the Bereaved, and continue to participate in on-going training and spiritual formation. We observe strict confidentiality.

The work of the monks of New Mellary Abbey. With the principles of” praying without ceasing” and responsible stewardship, the monks prayerfully craft fine wooden caskets and urns sustainable and at reasonable prices.

A wonderful sight for mourners and those who care for them. Clear and helpful articles, as well as current, readable books you can order on all aspects of grief, including children and grief, divorce, pet loss, and so much more.